As far as near death experiences go, I’d rate mine about a 4 out of 10. No going to the light, life flashing before my eyes, or out-of-body experiences. After about three days of intense fever and delirium, I felt like I was simply going to slip into a coma and call it a life. Kind of boring if you ask me.
The funny thing was, when I got to the brink of life I really wanted to go. The first reason was because I really welcomed the opportunity for a marvelous new adventure. The second reason was because I felt like I hadn’t accomplished anything significant in this life (I guess I’ll continue to judge myself up to the very end). One the other hand, if I died, Tamara would have been very upset and given me a severe scolding.
At least it’s comforting to know I’m not afraid to die.
I have this bad habit of trying to make sense of things. When I had problems with authority figures, I figured it was because I had problems with my Dad when I was young (very true on that one). So my little brain tried and tried to draw a deeper connection with the almost-dying-experience. When I shared my quandary with a friend of mine he said, “Sounds to me like you got bit by a tick”. Gee, thanks for the insight. I hate it when life goes random.
It’s been two months now since the fated vampire tick bite. After what has seemed like countless relapses, I cautiously appear to be on the mend (fingers crossed). Contrary to my friend’s insight, I have finally noticed a few shifts. It appears yet another layer of ego has been aggressively stripped away. According to Mr./Ms. Great Spirit: “Life can end anytime it wants and you’re not really in charge. Any questions? If so, we can go through the whole tick experience again”. No thanks, I think I got it. I feel like Arnie from the movie What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. “I could go at any time”.
With this new stripping away of personal identity, it appears some new channels of deeper feeling have opened up. Will it help my practice as a Healer? Will I have new action-superhero talents emerge? Who knows? We’ll just have to wait and see. But at the very least, I’m cranking out some of my best artwork ever.
Have you ever had a near-death experience? I’d love to hear about it.