A Spiritual Satire – The Enlightenment of Moonbeam

Spirituality, Meditation and Energy Healing

A Spiritual Satire – The Enlightenment of Moonbeam

About a year ago, I joined a meditation cult…ahhh…I mean…group.

moonbeam cartoonOne of the first members I met was a young woman named Moonbeam.  She was probably the sweetest one of the bunch.  Funny though, as sweet as she was, she sure went through the boyfriends.  You’d think one might stick.  She always had some new John with her at the meditations.  After they came once or twice and got introduced around, they’d vanished like incense in the wind.  ‘Beamer even tried to put the nuzzle on me once but I shot that down in a hurry.

Moonbeam was also a former devout follower of the cosmic channel Izzerah, until just before I met her.  She lived in their commune, ate with them, worked with them—the whole nine yards.  When I met her, she still wore an assortment of Izzerah apparel: beads, patchouli perfume, flowing gowns, big hats, etc.

Apparently, Izzerah could channel the Paladeians all the way up to the 13th level.  According to Moonbeam, that had never been done by someone in human form before.

Moonbeam said, The Paladeians were using Izzerah to convey encrypted messages to the human subconscious, to aid us in our rapid and timely evolution.

That was pretty heady stuff for me.  When she tried to explain it in detail, I didn’t get it at all.  There was way too much inner circle lingo.  However, with a little patience on Moonbeam’s part, I was able to scratch out a paraphrased version of what Izzerah channeled.

In order for humans to unlock the encrypted messages for their future development, they must ascend the different levels of the Paladeians.  However, Paladeians only communicate in symbols and numbers.  To attain entrance into the mystical Paladeian realm, humans must have a personal, sacred number code.  That number must be an expression of human duality from the Four Sacred Directions.

That sent everyone into a tizzy and put them to scratching their heads.  The co-leader, accountant and scribe of the Izzerah movement was a guy named Joey.  It just so happened he was also Izzerah’s boyfriend.  He was a crackerjack with numbers, sacred geometry, and so forth.  He was able compute an exponential correlation between the Paladeian communication and ancient symbolism, to arrive at the message the Paladeians were attempting to convey.  It was very complex and most of Izzerah’s faithful didn’t understand it at all.  They had to take it on faith from Joey.

Here’s a watered down translation:

Duality = 2, Four Directions = 4.  Multiply 2, four times!  2 x 2 x 2 x 2 = 16.  It was a 16 digit number code to get them into the Paladeian realm.  Joey was able to render a solution based on pure mathematical genius.  Utterly awe inspiring!

After that masterful quantification, Joey innocently chirped in, But how will everyone come up with their own 16 digit code?

Think…ponder…contemplate.  He looked around rather sheepishly to see if anyone would take the bait.  That’s when the intuitive insight of Moonbeam came shining though and saved the day for everybody!

I know, she said, Let’s use our Visa card numbers.

Wham!  Fish On.

That’s when Joey moved in to set the hook.  All anyone had to do to move up a level in the Paladeians realm was to chant the sacred Visa number (along with expiration date and security code).  Downright brilliant, not to mention practical.

Not long after Joey’s brilliant decryption of the Paladeian message, Izzerah received revelation from On High to move the entire operation to the Caiman Islands.

Moonbeam was devastated at first.  She couldn’t believe the Paladeians would just pull the plug.  However, she knew it was in alignment with a higher order.  Plus, her spiritual life usually worked out that way anyhow.

Nevertheless, those Paladeians must have done something for Moonbeam because she was the most grounded, peaceful and loving soul out of everyone at the meditation cult…ahhh…I mean…group.

Even though she was new to the group, everyone surmised she would be next in line to graduate into the inner circle (especially if she kept her glazed-over, puppy dog eyes on the leader, Canoodle-ji).

Furthermore, as Divine intervention would have it, Hal gave Moonbeam her job back at the ShopMart.  She also picked up a few extra hours at Edna’s Crystal Emporium and Used Bookstore.  That helped fill in the moon-sized crater the Paladeians left in her financial plan.  All as a part of God’s Will, in resonance with the 13 levels, of course.

Moonbeam still stays in contact with Izzerah and Joey.  She heard from them not too long ago.  It sounded like they were doing quite well.  Here’s a copy of the postcard hanging on Moonbeam’s fridge…

My Blessed Moonbeam,

Joey and I are settling into Paradise beautifully and the development of the Paladeian compound “Blington” is well under way.  All of our needs are graciously being fulfilled in accordance with Divine Abundance, including transportation! (See below).  Our hearts rejoice at your beloved support and commitment to a better world…for us.  😉  

Please don’t forget our upcoming webcast on Friday the 19th at 8pm EDT.  We’re so excited.  The Paladeians will be opening the 14th level of Utopia for the first time!  We are truly in remarkable times.  Just log on with your sacred 16-digit code.

With Blessings,

Izzerah and Joey

PS.  We invite you to visit our new website at:  http://www.$$$izzerah$$$.com

We’re excited to announce our new line of Izzerah designer apparel, for the truly enlightened.

T&J with Chopper

Dedicated to those of us who can take our spirituaity a little to seriously at times

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*Since the early 1990’s, I’ve evolved into an expert at helping people heal repeating patterns of stress and pain.  I also assist my clients in  opening the doors to the magic of their own spirituality.  I also have books and CD’s and offer private sessions remotely, via phone or Skype.

If you have any questions on spiritual growth, meditation or energy healing, please contact me.  I’ve been working in these worlds since 1991.  I’m here to help you out.  That’s what I was born to do.

Or please visit me at my website, I’d love to hear from you.

www.josephdrumheller.com

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About Joseph Drumheller

Joseph Drumheller is an energy healer and award-winning author. As a healer, he’s conducted over 2,000 private healing sessions since 1991 and worked six years in a cancer radiation clinic, honing his craft as a healer. He lives in Sppokane, WA.
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2 Responses to A Spiritual Satire – The Enlightenment of Moonbeam

  1. Strange! Sad and funny at the same time. I suppose we should have some humor about how naive we can be! Portia SLB

    Like

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